


Merch

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [159]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9591989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux finds... interesting merchandise.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Товар](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557455) by [fandom_Kylux_2017 (fandom_Kylux_2016)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_Kylux_2016/pseuds/fandom_Kylux_2017), [Protego_Maxima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Protego_Maxima/pseuds/Protego_Maxima)



“…what…?” Kylo knows you’re supposed to ask more than just the question word, to clarify what it is you want answering, but really, it’s about as eloquent as he can get right now.  


Between his gloved finger and thumb is a small, pill-shaped, squishy tube of mixed media black fabrics, with a soft, embroidered face that’s clearly meant to emulate his mask.

It’s like a tiny, viewscreen cleaning thing made to look like him.

“I found it on the last planet we stopped over at,” Hux explains.  


“But… what?”  


“Unlicensed, of course, unless the Leader is making a few credits off your likeness to fund the war efforts.”  


“Why is there a toy that looks like me?”  


“…because people want to rub your angled mask against their faces?”  


“I AM DARKNESS PERSONIFIED.”  


Hux’s hand pats his mask. “Cute.”

“I AM NOT CUTE.”  


“Of course you aren’t, how could I ever be mistaken?” comes Hux’s droll voice.  


“Did they make them of you?”  


“What? Goodness, no. Your family, including your grandfather. Several kinds of Stormtrooper. That overgrown carpet. Multiple droids.”  


Kylo squishes the little him. It… it’s unspeakably cute, and that’s… “I want every single one of these confiscated, and destroyed. My image cannot be diluted like this.” How can he maintain the required gravitas if people see these things and think of him?

“As you wish,” Hux grins. “Wait til you see my body pillow.”  


Kylo smacks the toy right into his helmet. This day gets better by the minute. “I’m going to kill whoever made them.”

“You’re not taking my pillow.”  


“You have **me**.”

“You’re frequently away on missions, Kylo. I only use it when you’re gone.”  


“…I don’t even want to know how you ‘use it’, Hux, just… get rid of it.”  


“Don’t go away so much, then.”  


Kylo won’t be able to show his mask in public for months at this rate, so it’s not really going to be a problem. However, depending on how many backups Hux has bought (knowing him, _many_ ) it could be a while before the ship is merchandise free.

Perfect.


End file.
